The 12 Types of Friends You Probably Have

There’s a trend floating around Internet sites where articles become simple lists of everything under the sun: 36 Times This Celebrity Was The Funniest Person Ever, 18 Ways You Can Eat Spaghetti, 22 Reasons to Visit Bhutan For Your Birthday. You get the idea. So, I decided to try my hand at list-making (which is something I already do to keep track of schoolwork and my busy weekdays), and came up with a handy-dandy guide to the types of friends you probably have! Mind you, this is not an exhaustive list – you could go on about friend stereotypes for a pretty long time. But, these few aspects stood out to me. So, read on and see where your friends fit in!

1. The Sweet Friend: This person has Hershey’s beat for sweetness – everything he or she does oozes kindness. Or, at least seems to. He or she may be hiding all kinds of problems under that sugary exterior, and you’ll rarely ever catch it. This friend can be encouraging, but at times the sappiness gets to be too real.

2. The Salty Friend: (totally intentional pun on the sweet friend) Anyways, this friend is salty (read: annoyed/ticked off) at everything and anything. The sass is strong in this one – do not cross them. This friend enjoys telling you about how everyone is out to get him or her and how he or she singlehandedly verbally defeated all of them. At once.

3. The Friend-Zoned Friend: The few. The proud. The ones forever known as “bro,” “nice,” and “such a great friend.” There is hope for this situation, but only depending on how desperate one is to escape. These friends are the ones who are extremely thoughtful, great at listening and absolutely fun to hang with. In fact, they’d be great to date – but you just can’t bring yourself to. Why lose that precious friendship, you know?

4. The Annoying Friend: This friend just knows how to dance on your last nerve. Or maybe he or she’s completely oblivious to the repercussions of his or her actions. Either way, you’ll end up annoyed. Whether it’s the way he eats his dessert or how she drives, you have to portion out the time you spend with said friend.

5. The Forever Friend: You may not even remember meeting this person. Or maybe, it was so perfectly iconic you won’t ever forget. In either case, this person entered your life and doesn’t plan on leaving. You may not see this person often, but you know that nothing about your relationship will weaken over the years. In fact, it’s kinda fun to reconnect after a bit and swap stories about life; it’s neat to see how time grows your friendship.

6. The Crying Friend: Happy tears. Sad tears. All manner of tears in between. If something emotional is happening (or even unemotional), the waterworks are present and flowing. This friend is obviously tender-hearted … or maybe just a little unsettled. At least now you have a reason to keep a supply of tissues in your room!

7. The “Better” Friend: You will never top this friend. You can try your best, but they will be better than you at everything: sports, puns, cooking, sleeping, living. He or she may not even realize how awesome they are (oh, but sometimes they do). You’re just lucky this person likes hanging out with you; maybe some of their mojo will rub off if you spend enough time with them.

8. The You Friend: Sometimes, you question if this person is even a separate entity from you at all. You’ll laugh at the same things, champion the same causes, wear the same clothes. Others will call you by this friend’s name, and vice versa. Because why do life with different people when you can be best friends with yourself?

9. The Not-You Friend: Sometimes, you’ll question how you even get along with this person. You differ fundamentally – squeezing the toothpaste tube from the end or middle, loving cats or dogs, or simply being introverted or extroverted. You may seem like polar opposites, but it all just meshes somehow. Besides, why do life with yourself when you can be best friends with not yourself?

10. The Hurtful Friend: He’s offensive. She’s retaliatory. Face it, the fights that happen in this friendship will be damaging; it’s obvious you both love each other, but the chemistry will be ripe for frequent disagreements. Ranging from moodiness to anger issues to jealousy, this friend comes with baggage to spare. And, they don’t mind unloading on you.

11. The Niche Friend: There’s only one thing holding this fragile relationship together. Maybe you both love burritos, maybe you’re both from Nebraska. Anyways, it’s one certain aspect you haven’t been able to find in many others. It truly unites you! Just don’t change the subject … you do only have one thing in common.

12. The Mom Friend: This friend is more responsible than you’ll ever be. He or she probably has a color-coded closet and might even be known to drive a minivan from time to time. She’ll keep you punctual, he’ll make sure you take all your allergy medicine. You’ll realize you didn’t leave your mom at home when you moved out, she just morphed into your new best bud.

There you have it, a brief look at some differing types of friends! The great thing about college is that you have four years (more or less) to meet as many new people as you want. So get out there! Chat up someone on the Great Lawn, grab lunch with your chemistry lab partner, and see if you can discover a type of friend that’s not even on this list! And please, let me know when you do. I’m keeping all these friend-types organized on a sticky note.

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